Wendy Perez The Wisdom Behind 25 Years of Marriage,Ministry & Building Together
There’s a grace about Wendy, a quiet strength that draws you in. Her words flow with soft-spoken eloquence, yet the wisdom she carries penetrates to the heart. As she speaks on this truth, the word of God she whole-heartedly believes does what Hebrews 4:12 promises: cuts through pretense and touches the soul. Beautiful and poised, she speaks from the depth of someone who has walked through fire and emerged stronger.
It’s a message she carries into every space she enters. As co-pastor of ChurchLV in Las Vegas alongside her husband Benny, she’s helped grow a multi-ethnic, multi-generational church from 27 people in a living room to over 5,000 members. The lessons learned through their marriage have become monumental in their lives.
Now, as a sought-after speaker both locally and internationally, and co-founder of EquipHer, a non-profit dedicated to empowering businesswomen to align faith and purpose, Wendy has made it her mission to serve those she feels called to champion.
She calls them “the most underserved members of the Christian community”: women building careers, businesses, and legacies while trying to nurture their most important relationships.
From her home in Henderson, Nevada, Wendy, mother to BJ, Bella, and Benaiah, carries this message with authority and grace. But first, she says, we need to get honest about what it really takes to build something meaningful with another person.
Twenty-five years of marriage. Two decades of ministry. And one conversation that changed everything.
THE ANNIVERSARY DINNER THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING
“I’m kind of the eternal optimist,” Wendy admits with a laugh, recalling an anniversary dinner that would become a turning point in her marriage. When Benny asked how she thought their relationship was going, her response was immediate: “Oh, I mean, we’re at our anniversary dinner. It’s great. Our relationship is amazing.”
His reply stopped her in her tracks: “I think it could be better.”
“I immediately just started crying, and I’m not even a crier,” Wendy recalls. “I was devastated. We’re having this beautiful night together, and I didn’t know where he was coming from with this.” But Benny’s vulnerability opened a crucial conversation about their future.
“He just said, ‘Wendy, I just think that we need to be more intentional if we’re going to make it the long haul. Our kids are getting to the age where we might be empty nesters. What’s our next season going to be like? We’re not going to pastor the church forever. There’s going to be a next chapter. What’s that going to look like? And how are we going to work together in that next season?’”
That difficult moment sparked a commitment: “We just decided to go to work and say, hey, what’s our next season going to be? How can we deepen our intimacy? What things can we do so we don’t end up roommates and business partners, but that we stay friends, lovers, and partners in all the areas of our life?”
THE FOUR PILLARS OF LASTING INTIMACY
What followed was a masterclass in intentional relationship-building. Wendy and Benny created Saturday morning “masterminds”—deep conversations about all the main areas of their life, how they can improve, emotional check-ins, and more. “They’re supposed to be an hour,” Wendy laughs. “They go for like an hour and a half.”
But the foundation of their renewed connection came from understanding four essential areas of intimacy:
Intellectual Intimacy: “You have to have intellectually stimulating conversations,” Wendy explains. “That gets lost a lot of times because maybe one partner is engaging more intellectually or growing the business, and maybe one partner is staying home. So sometimes you stop having those intellectual conversations.”
Emotional Intimacy: “You have to be able to say, ‘This is how I’m feeling right now’ in a judgment-free space. And then the partner has to not take it on as their own personal thing they have to fix. We had to learn how to do that.”
Spiritual Intimacy: “That means having those topics about the Lord and opening up the Bible and praying together and deepening your faith together, attending church together, attending a Bible study together.”
Physical Intimacy: “All those three things will lead to greater physical intimacy for the couple.”
STAYING HUMAN IN MINISTRY
Despite pastoring a megachurch and coaching others in their faith, Wendy is refreshingly honest about the everyday realities of life. “We’re still very, very human—extraordinarily human,” she emphasizes. “We’re very normal human beings who have very normal human experiences.”
This authenticity extends to how she and Benny navigate challenges together. Wendy has learned the importance of discernment in relationships: “We need to discern in our relationships: Hey, is this just my partner having a human moment? Is this spiritual interference? What’s happening here?”
Sometimes, she explains, the solution is spiritual: “Everybody calm down. We are praying right now. I don’t know what’s going on. Everybody feels funky in this household, and we just need to pray right now. We need to press the reset button.” Other times, it’s emotional work: “We don’t want to cover it with spiritual or religious language and pretend everything’s a demon behind every bush. We need to actually say: How are you feeling? What’s going on inside? What can I do for you? How does this make you feel? What’s this bringing up? Do we need to go see a therapist? Do we need to schedule an appointment?”
EMBRACING COMPLEMENTARY GIFTS
One of Wendy’s most powerful lessons has been learning to celebrate rather than compete with her partner’s strengths. “I think when God brings you a partner, you can either be threatened by their gifts because they’re so often the opposite of yours, and then you resist them because you’re like, ‘Oh my goodness, they’re so good at that, and I’m so bad.’ So then we kind of try to stay hidden.”
The breakthrough comes in openness: “But once we learn to open ourselves up and recognize that what they bring complements what we bring—that’s when the partnership really multiplies.”
Wendy speaks with genuine gratitude about Benny’s gifts: “His discernment is next level. It’s so amazing. I’ve been able to glean from that.” Rather than feeling inadequate, she’s learned to draw from his strengths while bringing her own unique gifts to their partnership.
EMPOWERING THE NEXT GENERATION
This principle of multiplication extends beyond their marriage into their ministry and coaching. Wendy is passionate about giving permission to the next generation: “I think so many people need hope today. They look around and think, ‘Have all the ideas been taken? Have all the companies been started? Has everything already been done?’ And we need to let them know: No, it hasn’t been done, because God has a call on your life. Your calling hasn’t been fulfilled, and He has something very special planned for you.”
Her message is clear and empowering: “The way you tell your story matters. Who cares if the story’s been told? Who cares if the product has been developed or the book has been written? You’re going to tell it in your unique way.”
BUILDING A LEGACY BEYOND YOURSELF
Wendy’s vision extends far beyond her own lifetime. “A God dream will not be fulfilled in your lifetime but through your lifeline,” she explains. “Our lifeline includes our kids, our companies, and the people we mentor. They’re going to do far greater than we ever could. Why? Because we’re giving them our wisdom, which helps them collapse time and achieve more in less time.”
This multigenerational perspective shapes how she and Benny approach their work: not just building for today, but investing in those who will carry the vision forward long after they’re gone.
THE ONE THING SHE WISHES SHE’D DONE SOONER
When asked about her biggest regret, Wendy doesn’t hesitate: “We waited too long to get professional help.”
She’s quick to acknowledge that different people need different types of support: “For some people in the church world, they don’t like therapy. Okay, then find an anointed minister of counseling or a coach. Whatever you need.” But the principle remains the same: “For me, I see a therapist once a month—sometimes twice. We also go together once a month. Sometimes we do intensives because the greatest relationships are this relationship with God and this relationship with others.”
Her advice is practical and urgent: “I would encourage people to get help sooner. You don’t change the oil after 100,000 miles; you change it after 7,500. So get more help, faster. Monthly maintenance is key.”
Then, with characteristic honesty and humor, she adds: “It took us 25 years to figure that out!”
THE MULTIPLICATION ANOINTING
Throughout the conversation, Wendy returns to a biblical principle that has become foundational to her understanding of partnership: “One will chase a thousand, but two will chase ten thousand. There’s a multiplication anointing when you’re walking in unity with your partner and with God.”
This isn’t just theology—it’s the lived reality of what she and Benny have built together. From 27 people in their living room to a multi-site church of 5,000. From pastoring alone to coaching others in mindset and breakthrough. From functioning side-by-side to flourishing as friends, lovers, and partners in every area of life.
“That’s what we’re praying for,” Wendy says with conviction. “Greater intimacy in relationships and kingdom connections that multiply around the nation and the world.”
By Tricia Love Trujillo
Wendy’s EquipHer Conference brings together businesswomen, entrepreneurs, and ministry leaders annually for a transformative gathering where faith meets purpose. Join her at ChurchLV to connect with high-profile leaders and build the kind of kingdom community that multiplies impact.
